Parenting Pivot

I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth. 3 John 1:4

Fathers, do not antagonize your children, so that they will not become discouraged. Colossians 3:21

Is the “empty nest” what you thought it would be?

You may be struggling because your children are not following the path you set before them. How should you respond?

Has communication with your adult children challenged you: When do I speak? When do I keep my mouth shut?

Have your children returned to the nest unexpectedly?

In Doing Life with your Adult Children, Jim Burns reminds us that while our goals for our children may not have changed as they became adults, our role has changed dramatically.

Although you and your children are traveling different paths, you’re on a parallel journey of reinventing your relationship. It’s better when you navigate it together, but neither of you have passed this way before, and even if you have made the transition with one child, the next child likely will approach the transition to adulthood differently. . .You no doubt will experience bewilderment when grown kids violate your values or live differently from how they were raised, but your goal remains the same: to help your children transition to responsible adulthood. To do that, you need to first understand your old job description as a parent and then create a new one.

In PhaseNEXT, we set out to clarify again what we really want for our children.

We evaluate how the tools that we had when they were young (control, punishment, instruction) may not be effective as they reach adulthood and head out into the world. We explore new ways of communicating, influencing and supporting which reflect the current and desired relationship. We also imagine what the future may look like as spouses and grandchildren are grafted into the family.