Story: Do It Now: Have "The Talk" With Your Parents (Brent B.)
Over the last year, Leigh and I experienced first-hand the value of taking the uncomfortable step of having “the talk” with my parents. My mother, who had a number of health issues herself, was essentially a caregiver for my father, who had Alzheimer’s disease. Due to the toll this was taking on her, it was clear my mother needed some encouragement and assistance in updating their wills and health care directives. She also needed to institute some powers of attorney for my brother and me in the event she predeceased my father. The idea of directly discussing these issues with my mother was a challenge, because neither my brother nor I had any history of open dialogue regarding my parents’ “business.” PhaseNEXT came at a critical time in this particular stage of our family’s story and relationships.
Most every adult at some point in their lives will go through the unique issues surrounding an aging parent and preparing for their end-of-life issues. Yet, we do not receive any training or instruction on how to assist our aging parents, with what can be very sensitive topics. The PhaseNEXT program not only gave my wife and me the courage to address these issues my mother, but it also provided a framework on what our roles could be and what issues in general to cover. Rett and Nancy were also very helpful in sharing their own experiences in addressing these issues with their parents.
Armed with this encouragement and knowledge, I was able to move forward with approaching my mother about these issues. My wife and I were even able to assist her in a helpful manner, but in a way that was still honoring to my parents, as we are taught to do in God’s Word. As a result, my mother with our assistance was able to proceed with updating their financial records and life directives, which would not only bring her peace, but allow my brother and I to step in to provide for my father’s care seamlessly should the need ever arise. As it so turned out, my mother recently passed away from her own health issues. Despite our sorrow at her passing, it was made a lot easier to transition into the role of taking care of my father and making sure we have the ability to provide for his care needs into the future.