What Are We Learning?
Sorry for the recent silence. We haven’t stopped PhaseNext—we’ve been fully living it!! Over the last several months, Nancy and I have been actively involved in the whirlwind of all of the relationship and life-changes that define this stage of life.
Our youngest child graduated from college, our middle child has returned home for a season, and our oldest child and his wife are expecting our first grandbaby in August. We are facing all the challenges that go with Parenting adult children.
Nancy’s father has moved into an assisted living facility. Beyond the logistical considerations that change creates, there is the emotional and relational impact requiring us to recommit to honoring our aging parents in Caregiving.
I have begun the process of transitioning my career to align with what I believe God is calling me to do in the next chapter of my working years. While I am excited about all that God has ahead as my Purpose, running in both lanes simultaneously is a stretch.
And of course, all of these are requiring Nancy and me to continuously evaluate our Marriage and make a conscious effort to find new rhythms, patterns, and relationships.
So what are we learning through this?
To trust God in all things. Change reveals all the ways in which we have learned to trust in ourselves to handle the affairs of life. We build systems and routines, we gather and deploy resources, we build networks. Then life changes and the structures that have supported us are either removed, or they no longer assist with the context we are in. In the ensuing chaos or despair, we reach out to God for help. With perhaps a little embarrassment, we confess that we drifted at times in our trust of Him. We declare that He is faithful and true. As we know from Proverbs 3:5-6, when we repent of leaning on our own understanding and acknowledge Him in all things, He informs our path and our understanding.
Patience to wait for God’s process. The relationship changes that occur because the people in our lives are changing. This is particularly true with our adult children. And so often, these changes can be unwelcome, hurtful, and discouraging. But we are reminded that they are, in fact, changing—not fully changed. The path and process of God’s work in the lives of people, especially young adults, is non-linear in pace and direction. That’s because they are independent agents wrestling with a Supreme Being that demands submission and holiness. As the nature of adulthood pushes them toward self-sufficiency and autonomy, God is calling them to trust and obey Him. That can be messy at times. But, we believe Philippians 1:6 is true, so we will wait on God to complete what He started.
To find peace in times of pain. The changes and challenges of our circumstances and relationships are difficult on many levels. Some of our experiences have brought great heartache and grief. Others have brought busyness and stress. But we are learning to seek God’s presence, not just His answers or solutions. Throughout scripture, there is a direct relationship between the experience of peace and the presence of God. In prison because of false accusations, Joseph prospered because God was with him (Gen. 39:21). David declared that he was comforted through the valley of the shadow of death because God was with him. (Psalm 23:4). Jesus assured His disciples not to let their hearts be troubled because He would send the Holy Spirit to be with them to bring comfort and give peace (see John 14).
Through all the Pivots of midlife, we remain certain of a couple things.
God is good all the time.
Our experiences are not unique, and we do not need to walk alone.
Thank you for being part of our mutual journey together. Please let us know how we can encourage you.