Book Review: Empty Nest, What’s Next?: Parenting Adult Children Without Losing Your Mind by Michele Howe
Parenting emerging adult children brings about a host of challenges, internally and externally. When our children grow up and leave home, it introduces the void (or opportunity) of an empty nest, an altered state of our marriage, and new relationship dynamics with our kids. The practical and emotional impact of these changes is wide-ranging. In this book, author Michele Howe provides helpful perspective and advice on multiple facets of this phase of life and parenting.
This book is written in 30 short chapters, each of which includes an anecdotal experience, practical advice, Biblical insight and a short prayer. One option is to read one chapter per day over a one-month period as a type of daily devotional. Each chapter can be read and considered in just a few minutes, but offers enough substance to continue in your thoughts throughout the day.
Chapters two, four and six were both humbling and helpful to me. As an enneagram “type 2,” I want to solve problems, meet needs, ably assist. Now that my children have left my home and are “on their own,” my role as helper-in-chief is done. Howe shares that her daily prayer is “God, make up the difference.” This idea is explained in the context of acknowledging the mistakes we made as parents. It encourages us ask to God to straighten out what we may have messed up. But, while I have become poignantly aware of this need now, Howe points out that God has always been “making up the difference.”
On the hopeful side, Howe reminds us that the impact of our years of pouring wisdom into our children has not yet seen its full fruit. She explains that they are now having to work out for themselves what took us years to learn. She warns us not to deprive them of this experience by jumping in to control them or to mitigate the consequences. Ultimately, being aware that adult children make adult-sized mistakes requires that we daily surrender control to the Heavenly Father, who will continue to parent far better than we ever could.